I am going to use this post as a more literal letter, this time to one of my nephews. He knows who he is, and has, in the past, displayed a knack for things like riding his bicycle into a parked car (when there was nothing distracting him). I know, I know, Little Miss Scalded and Concussed Herself might not be in a super position to throw stones. Anyway, yesterday, my nephew, who is apparently starting to be a real challenger, eating-wise, to the Incredible Eating Nephew, managed to break both his radius and his ulna.
I love you, kid. I hope that all of this goes well (given that it's happened), and you heal up quickly. I sent your mom a care package with chocolate and macadamia nuts, (since she was the one who inadvertantly gave Curly the Nut O' Doom) because it's important to keep my hand in on the whole passive-aggressive gift-giving thing, even in times of worry. You understand, right? I know you wouldn't want me to skip sticking it to your mom just because she is gray with worry (I'll bet her color has recovered to a faint green by now, anyway). She squeaks so dramatically and gratifyingly when you really get her, and I am fairly sure that seeing her squeak indignantly (at someone else) would perk you up, at least a little bit. Naturally, I will be sending you a care package as soon as I know what you're up for (Curly and my boy already have some ideas). And I promise (mostly) that it will be just regular present-ish.
Also, dude, you are so wearing wristguards IF you come skating with us at Christmas. I am not sneaking you out to skate without your mom's permission. She hasn't had her rabies shots.