Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Mixed Nut Dish of Doooooooooom

It’s come to my attention that not only has it been over a month since I’ve posted a thing, but that I still have a grudge against nuts. I'm going to conveniently ignore the former and chatter about the latter.

I’ve anxiously let Curly eat some Nutella. Marcona almonds have made their way back into our kitchen (Which is all kinds of awesome. Those suckers are tasty), but… I still eye nuts with suspicion. I come perilously close to saying (in as close to a Clint Eastwood voice as I can mentally produce) “You’re not gonna hurt my baby, are you, nut? Because that would make me mad. And you don’t want to see me mad, nut.” And then I think: I am completely insane. It feels like only a few stops down the line after mental conversations with food will be talking about how my neighbors turn invisible, sneak into my house and steal my coffee and social security card. And... I’d rather not BE the crazy neighbor. And yet despite my awareness that it is moderately k-k-k-crazy to bear nuts a grudge, my complicated and rather hostile "relationship" (yes, I get that the "relationship" is all in my head. Really) to an inanimate agricultural product continues.

I still see Christmas cookies (with nuts) and think “f$*#ing nuts.” I look at holiday treats (with nuts) and think “goddamn motherf&*^ing nuts,” and then, then I lay eyes on the mixed nut appetizers which are so often laid out (and you can’t blame people for doing it – they’re easy, they go well with drinks, etc) and think… well, you get the idea. My thought bubble is generally hostile, expletive laden and unfestive.

Should I have more to say after a month of nothing? Probably. Is it Crappy! Chart! Thursday! with nary a chart (again)? Yup. Do I have a chart? No. I've randomly included an old picture of a hot springs at Yellowstone on a day it was snowing (ala saying "Look! There's fish climbing up that tree!" to try and draw attention away from the topic at hand). The snowfall, by the by, was also the first day of summer. Despite the season/weather dissonance, it was incredible to see.


Anonymous said...

And even better knowing we had heated butt-warmer seats to climb back into!

Meg said...

too true.